First Aid

Shortly after realizing that the boys and I could go on this trip I also realized that we'd be in all sorts of weird and wonderful places that may present us with excellent opportunities to injure ourselves. Not the plan, but you never know. I initially also wasn't sure about our ready access to health care. If you read the page Travel By Map (look to your right) you may wonder at that statement given that, for the most part, we are in major urban areas. When thinking about the trip initially though, we were also considering doing things like wwooofing, spending more time in rural areas, and what not. And who knows, we may still do so. It's kinda fluid right now. But not having ready access to healthcare, either due to geographical or potential communication barriers, seemed like a good reason to get some skills and become as self-sufficient as we reasonably could expect.

My thought then was that it would be good for the boys and I to do a bit of first aid training. It in no way makes up for good medical care (as it kinda assumes good medical care is on the way), but in terms of providing some solid basic knowledge and skills to address immediate needs, and perhaps be self-sufficient on various little stuff, it's top notch.  St. John's Ambulance offer such courses, and after having nearly made a horrible blunder by booking the training during the Mother's Day weekend (which I resolved without anyone finding out about might I add), Noah, Jake and I took the  course this past weekend and are now fully certified Emergency and Standard First Aid, CPR-C and AED responders.

Two full days, a classroom full of great people from all walks of life, a fantastic course director, and enough triangular bandages to make Boris Karloff proud. Truly, something I would recommend for everyone. It certainly wasn't what I was expecting - though what I had been expecting was likely a tad daft and unnrealistic. I was expecting the "here's how to make someone better - you may not look like George Clooney but you played a doctor on tv once too", while what they really teach is "here's how to make someone okay until EMS shows up". Different focus. And the right one. It's what we all have the capacity to learn and to do. It's not rocket science, and it is (thankfully) not brain surgery. It's a lot of common sense guided by solid basic training.

We learned about assessing the scene, and the individual(s). How to deal with wounds, how to deal with fractures, shock, embedded objects, eye injuries, burns, and that general purpose stuff that seems to happen a lot when you're tired and want a bagel for breakfast. It was good. Really good.

I hope to never have to use this new knowledge, but I know I'll be back in three years to re-certify. I also know that I now feel more comfortable about our well being this coming year, and I believe it's added to all of our confidence, as we're just a little bit better prepared for whatever may come along.

Don't Get Caught Surviving

You know, I could have sworn that I had posted this a couple of weeks ago. Apparently not. Avid readers (reader perhaps - thanks mom) - apologies for the gap. Now, where was I...

The second reason we're doing this has to do with what I want for my sons. I want them to be fearless. And by fearless I don't mean Jackass 12 stupid fearless, I mean not being afraid to make choices that don't necessarily conform to the norm. The TED Talks on education, along with my perspective on a few friend lives, really drove this home for me. 

There is more than one definition of success. There is more than one path to success and to happiness. Somehow though many of us are walking a single path towards a single definition of success and through it happiness. The typical go to school, get good grades, get into a good university, get a good career going, and keep going. That's success. Or at least, that's what many of us, even if we don't believe it, are living in to every day. And our kids are living into it without even knowing they are. This needs to be disrupted. There are so many more options. So so many more. And that's not to say it's not a good path. It's a great one. But walk it knowingly. Walk it because you choose to.

The late Ritchie McMurray, a dear friend and colleague of my father's once said to me: "Don't get caught surviving". It's a good message. It has been one of my mantras since my early twenties, but that said,  I've totally gotten caught; and I don't want my kids to get caught, so they need to be disrupted.

I think though that many of us have a fear-based decision making process. We make choices that aim to keep us comfortable. I know I certainly do. And I do a good job of fooling myself, and I am guessing I am not alone in this. Going back to no versus yes, we come up with reasons why we can't do something and then we leave it at that. "Oh well. Too bad. Great idea, but maybe some other time when X becomes Y." We don't try and flip the switches necessary to doing something from no to yes. And it's more comfortable to lay blame or responsibility on all of those other things and not ourselves. And I am not saying that any no can become a yes. Far from it. Some things are outside of our control. But if we don't try to change something to what we want it to be, then it's us standing in our way, not that thing.

So fearless for me means disrupting this. It means having the comfort and confidence in one's self, to trust your own opinion, and, most importantly, to act. It also calls for at least a smidgen of optimism and belief that ultimately the universe is on your side. I have that belief.

But it also takes seeing that there are other opportunities, other paths. And there are lots of ways that that could be done. This trip is only one way to be disruptive.

In some ways I think I'm being a bit lazy with this whole trip thing. I mean, there are so many things we could be doing here at home that could provide much of the disruption I think I am looking for. Volunteering. Community engagement. More time with friends. Extra-curriculars. More walks. Less Netflix - no matter how cool everything by Joss Whedon is. (I'm not even going to bother linking his name - because if you don't know, you should bloody well make the effort. Go. Google it.)

Now when I've mentioned this to friends (lazy, not Joss) the response is that there is so much more we'll be getting out of this trip that we could not get just staying in Toronto - and I totally agree with that. I'm just saying it kinda feels a bit lazy somehow too. That disruption and transformation are easier away from home. Maybe, maybe not. I don't know and it's not something we can really test. We're going, and that is going to change things. How, I have no idea. But what we do with that change, whatever it might be, will be the more interesting story I think.

Certainly the act of getting ready for this trip is bringing about change in terms of how we evaluate what is important to us, how we connect, what we want to hold on to, and all sorts of stuff, so I guess we're on the right track.

But I will write about all of that another time.

Soon even.

Yes Man

Why are we doing this?

It's a question I've been asked a lot. It's a question I continue to ask myself. It's the number one reason this blog got started months before we're actually leaving. I still don't know if I have a clear answer. It's not one thing. It's not a million little things. It's somewhere in between.

Fact #1: I am a near 43-year-old single father.

Fact #2: I do not have a drivers license.

As I and a few friends have joked, a sports car would do me know good, and I have no hope in hell (nor desire frankly) for dating a significantly younger woman. So with those two traditional avenues for a mid-life crisis not available to me it looks like I've turned to the next best thing. Travel. Giving it all up. Getting away.

Honestly there's likely some uncomfortable truth in there somewhere but I like to think that if it is a mid-life crisis spurring this on then at least my sons are going to benefit from it too. So mid-life crisis turned cool parenting move. Who says there isn't a silver lining?

Psyche aside, a number of things converged over a period of time that resulted in me thinking this was the thing to do. In no particular order they were:

• The pool game with Charles and Morgan that I've already written about, that introduced the possibility to me, and got me jealous about it to the point that I had to do it too.
• Conversations with the same Charles about the education system and some interesting TED Talks, which I also posted previously.
• Yes Man, starring Jim Carrey - I am a sucker for RomComs
• The Secret Life of Walter Mitty - First in theatres and now having the distinction of the first movie I actually bought via Apple TV.

So why are we doing this?

I think the number one reason we're doing this is because we can. When I first thought and talked about it at the pool game I was all no, not possible, can't happen. But then I started thinking. And that's where Jim Carrey comes in. For those who don't know Yes Man, it's the story of a guy who, for typical RomCom reasons, has isolated himself from his friends, has a non-stimulating job, and basically says no to nearly everything. He ends up at a personal empowerment seminar where he makes a covenant to say YES! to everything. The story goes from there. He does it.  He transforms his life. He goes overboard. He learns an important lesson. He gets the girl that he almost lost by going overboard. Happily ever after.

No, I do not think that that's what is going to happen.

When I saw this movie years ago I was struck by the premise of it. The idea of saying "no", and how that closes us to the world and it's opportunities. The thing I've come to believe over the years, partly due to work, and a lot due to parenting, is that saying no is quite often the lazy way out. No is easy. Saying no means you don't have to think about the topic anymore. The subject is closed. Done. Buh bye.

"Yes" on the other hand, or even "maybe" requires effort. Yes means figuring out how, putting your mind to something, potentially sorting through problems. It means investing your time into making something work that may or may not be something you care about all that much. But someone does, so perhaps it's worth the effort. 

A few years ago I started making a concentrated effort, especially with Jake and Noah to say yes, or to at least say maybe, and then to figure it out. Sometimes it still ended in a no, but the no wasn't a knee jerk reaction because I was distracted or tired or something else at the time I was asked. It was a considered no that got the same thought process and commitment a yes requires. I'm finding I like the results a lot. I'm a better listener, I'm a more active parent, and, by saying yes to their and other people requests, I'm opening myself to so many other opportunities and making myself happier along the way. 

So the morning after the pool game I started with a yes, and then tried to tear it down. I came up with all the reasons I could think of that would result in no, and then went about addressing each one. And you know what, not one person or thing that I identified as a possible no actually was a no. Everyone has been supportive. Everyone has said yes.

We were led by a star

Today was an exciting day.

Today was a day where we made a stand. A commitment. A bold declaration that we were indeed going on this trip!

Today we went shopping at MEC.

Today was the day where we picked the bags that will hold our belongings for a year and sit, hopefully comfortably, on our backs as we wander about. And not just the bags. The stuff that will go in the bags, and clothe our bodies as well. The pants. The shirts. The socks. The water bottles; though we won't we wearing those. The water purifying wand thingy that is just way too cool not to have and wave around hoping to make feathers fly or large rooms suddenly redecorate themselves.

Then there were the other little day bags, security bits, universal (or at least planetary) plugs so that laptops will have the juice they need when they need it no matter where we find ourselves. The list is not endless, but it does go on. I however will not meander further along it's path.

Except to mention the shoes. Picking a single pair of shoes to cover the year is no small feet. (I do hope that earned at least one groan from someone.) When I was reading about Paul Salopek's seven year walk in National Geographic last month I combed the few pictures of him in the article in hopes of figuring out what kind of shoes he has. I mean, if you're gonna walk for seven years then you're gonna get good shoes, so heck, better check and see. Alas, I did not find out. Despite that, we were all successful in finding shoes we feel will keep our feet, if not tap-dancing, at least quite happy. I am also pleased to say that it didn't take too long, all things considered. Nowhere near my best showing for in and out of IKEA, that other bastion of cool stuff one had not known existed when the day started but now must have, but still, given that we were shopping for a year of stuff, and that there were three of us, I'm happy coming in under three hours. That's more than an hour under the US average time for running a marathon, and doesn't require nearly the amount of training, nor chocolate milk.

Post victory street meat? Absolutely.

And the best part of it all? We're not going to look like triplets. We've got different bags, different shoes, different, well, different stuff. This is something I am very, very grateful for. It takes a lot of effort to not just get three of the same. When you're all looking for essentially the same things, picking different versions end up being harder then you think - even at MEC. But like Brian says: We're all individuals.

Turns out he's right.

Books, Bookings and Beginnings

Years ago a group of us went out for lunch at a Japanese steak house near the office in Mississauga, and on the way out of the place we got the obligatory fortune cookie for that little extra bit of sugar to help us through the afternoon, and of course, the fortune. Now fortune cookies as we all know are astounding in their clarity of vision, precision, and offerings of direction for daily living. They are the snack equivalent of a horoscope. They are a tweet with a special crunch.

Okay, no, generally they royally suck.

But I cracked this one open, popped the cookie bits in my mouth and immediately failed at reading the french phrase I found pinched between my fingers. I flipped my fortune (good title for a Home & Garden TV show if someone was looking) and was greeted with the following:

"Be prepared to modify your plan".

Now, honestly, this was pretty cool. It's excellent advice. For anyone; and certainly for me. Not something I'm good at though. Embracing change - yes it's one of the TELUS, who I work for, corporate mantras, but still, something I'm not the best at, though I do try.

I pinned this little bit of fortune ticker tape to my cubical wall back at the office, and ever since have tried to embrace the simple message. Tried to not hold on to my preconceived notion of how something should be, and allowed for ideas, plans, whatever to morph as they go along. I have failed more at this than I have succeeded.

When I finally officially moved out of that desk a couple weeks ago I took down that fortune and put it in my wallet so that I could pin it up at my new desk. I haven't done that yet. But I did actually pull it out of my wallet at a meeting today and shared with a couple of folk.

Anyway, I say all this because I'm quickly realizing that with this blog, not to mention with this trip, I need to be prepared to modify my plan. I'll likely be saying it a lot over the next year - or perhaps I'll start living it more. We'll see.

In the case of this blog I had laid out a strategy for how I was going to tell the story, the parts, the dramatic one liner cliff hangars that punctuate a deep thought that should resonate with anyone who reads them. The long descents into past stories to add poignancy to current events. The serialization of the story that got us to this point. I would spool it out, reel readers in. Captivate.

Yeah. Um. No.

I've currently concluded (I expect like LOTR Return of the King that there will be many conclusions) that my good intentions on what to write "next time" will continue to fall by the wayside based upon what is clambering around in my head and driving me to write at that given moment. This will work great on the road, but for the present it's kinda conflicting with what I thought I was trying to do.

This has been the long way of saying: I'm gonna get back to the "why we're doing this story and how those two TED Talks are relevant" story later. For now I wanted to quickly write about two other things that have happened in the past couple of days.

Books
As part of preparing for this trip the boys and I have decided to get rid of a lot of stuff. Essentially go through all of our belongings, determine what actually matters to us, pack it away safely, and then give everything else away. Now, we have serious amounts of stuff. Not nearly as much of either of my parents - but ya, I come by it honestly, and am passing it on to Noah and Jake.

I have many, many books. I love books. I would say that books have always been a big part of my life. I read a great deal, and used to read to the kids every morning, and I think like my parents, have helped to instill a love of reading and books into Noah and Jake. I also really like owning books. Actual books too. The physical kind. I like bookshelves stuffed with books, and our apartment continues to find room for additional shelves as the existing ones begin to overflow. Books have been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember, and I would say that a not-insignificant amount of my identity is founded on my books.

So when we decided to reduce the amount of stuff, I knew for me that that meant going in and reducing my library to the books that really matter. This has turned into a wholesale slaughter. My forest has been reduced to a few stumps and brush. And no, it's not quite that bad, but man does it feel like it.

And the thing is, it's one of the first things to really make this trip, and all it could be, very real. And it's scary. And it's uncomfortable. And it's totally the right thing to be doing, and like many right things, it's kinda hard.

We'll see how far I go with it. But it's a beginning.

Bookings
So, the other thing that has made this very real is that this evening I booked our flight to London, UK via Reykjavik on Iceland Air. So on July 15th we are officially leaving Canada. I have my friend Parvez to thank for that.

I had gone to the passport office this morning to get the kids passports updated. The ones they have are current but will not have six months left on them by the time we're nearing the end of our trip, so I needed to apply for new ones for them. Apparently I did not have the right paper work, so will go back Wednesday to continue that process. I'll write more about that another time.

I've been pretty anxious about getting the passports because for some reason I'd gotten it into my head that I needed the passport information to purchase the plane tickets. I swear to you I've seen this somewhere when actually trying to purchase online.

Now this afternoon Parvez and I were waiting on a meeting to begin and he, being the very kind individual that he is, asked how things were going with the planning, and if I had booked anything yet. I told him my passport story and lamented about my need to get new passports before booking any flights, but being anxious to book the first flight and make this all real through a financial transaction. Aside from being kind, he is also smart and therefore was able to gently tell me I was wrong, I did not need my passport information to purchase plane tickets. We tested this theory, and sure enough he was correct.

I almost purchased the first tickets then and there but thought that I should wait till I got home so that the boys could share in this momentous event. They did, but I'm pretty sure it was only to humour me. Which is fine, I like to be humoured. Apparently buying plane tickets online does not have the same impact on teens as it does me. Oh well.

But it's another beginning.

I've also decided to keep that fortune in my wallet. I think it's going to come in handy over the next year.

Fear

The idea that my sons could become "identical people" is an incredibly frightening thought.

Identical People

This is the first part of part two of what got me wanting to do this. I guess that makes its 2a. (Given that foreshadowing I'm tempted to make the next segment about why we're going to Elsinore, but probably not.) It happened around the same time as part one did, and it was kicked off by Charles telling me to watch the second one and me watching the first one instead.


Building a School in the Cloud:

Do Schools Kill Creativity?

Back later.