Buttered Cat Paradox

Okay, now I'm a little bit hopeful that I can start to get on top of things again, if of course my fingers readjust to this tiny little keyboard I have. Yes, I'm back to the one I got for my tablet. And why when there is that lovely mac just over there on the desk? Wait! It's not there. The desk isn't there! In fact, the whole kitchen has changed. No, this is not Murder By Death, though that'd be kinda cool if it was. And no, we were not robbed.

Apparently we're in Sweden. At least, that is what it looks like based upon the blue and yellow flag that I see merrily fluttering in the wind just outside the window, on my left. It's 8:01am August 31st, Central European Time Zone. The flag is primarily blowing, let's call it, forward. So, if you'd like, you can go online, check the wind direction for this time and date in Orebro and figure out which way I'm facing if you'd like. All I know is that I'm facing the dishwasher. And that is a whole other story.

If I crank my neck around and look over my left shoulder out the window behind me I can see a Canadian flag fluttering, equally happy, in what I presume is the same wind. It may be using a different one though, as it seems to be gaining.

The combination of the Swedish and Canadian flag fluttering in the same wind on the same house tells me that in all likelihood that I am at my Aunt Karen and Uncle Per's home. This has just been confirmed by my uncle coming into the kitchen. It is further confirmed by me having gone to sleep here last night, not being prone to somnambulism, and generally all around, not being a daft bastard.

So, all of this to say, we're not in Denmark anymore.

Okay, perhaps I am a daft bastard.

We are still in a Scandinavian country though, so those three cool new letters I was just getting used to still apply, however, as you may recall from the above, I'm on my little tablet keyboard. They're not here anymore. Please mourn them quietly.

I believe I owe you all a bit about Copenhagen. 

This is Copenhagen.

As is this.

As is this, if you like your world made out of Lego.

Everything is awesome....

Truth be told, all of these pictures are of Copenhagen, so I should likely stop repeating myself. I mean, I'll keep using the same words, so I guess that, in it's strictest just a minute sense, it is repetition, but I'll keep reordering them to tell you something different. Hopefully. I am getting more like my Dad afterall.

I mentioned last time that we got the Copenhagen Cards and that we got them to last 72 hours. This set starts starts at around hour 29 and goes back to hour to hour 25 with a bit of hopping around up to and including hour 31 along the way.

So Tuesday.

Apparently I am not going to make this one simple.

Oh look, Copenhagen again.

And dudes playing music in Copenhagen. I think it's a dulcimer.

He's not what I expect from an Abyssinian maid, and it didn't sound like they were wailing for a demon lover, so I can't be totally sure, but ya, I think it's a dulcimer.

You may recognize those two. And yes, Noah is now eight feet tall.

It's the air.

As you may have gathered, we took some time just walking around. Copenhagen is a great city to wander around it. Lots to look at. Nice streets. Very pleasant motorists. More bicycles then I've seen since Field Trip.

I posted the above, or similar picture to Facebook during a check-in. Turns out this city is popular with lots of my friends. At least, there seem to be more comments about Copenhagen. Thanks for those. And no James, no bicycles for us, though how could you have said any different.

The cycling thing is really impressive. Separate lanes with proper safety islands between bikes and cars. Proper lights, their own turn signals. And the lanes are wide enough for two bikes, and everyone travels on the right and passes on the left. It is amazingly well done, both from an integration with pedestrian and motorist traffic perspective, but also from the perspective of cyclists behaving like vehicles and following the rules of the road.

Toronto could learn alot. On both counts.

See, Copenhagen. A square in Copenhagen even. They have squares. Some of them even have fountains. They also have lots of people.

All of that is from basically the same area in the city that is comprised of several pedestrian only streets. Please don't ask me their names.

Now, it is comforting to know that, while you may be a long way from home, if you wander a busy downtown street long enough, you'll soon feel right at home thanks to a kind stranger passing by and offering you a free personality test.

Yes, Scientology. Good to see you again. Keep up the good work.

Noah and Jake wanted to go.

Another time perhaps.

See, Copenhagen. Isn't it lovely? Don't canals just add a certain something to a city, other than water and boats? How about a well coordinated palette for all buildings? How would you say "je ne sais quoi" in Danish? Would you even?

Toronto could do with some canals. Perhaps someone could uncover Garrison Creek, and the few other underground rivers flowing beneath our fair city. Come on, think of the skating potential.

Maybe not.

Oh, I have a couple of errata.

1. My father sailed to Canada in 1950, not 1952 as I stated in an earlier blog.

2. Sweden never ruled Denmark, though Denmark has ruled Sweden. The Danish monarchy is the longest running unbroken ruling monarchy in the world. They can trace their roots right back to the vikings.

There are likely other mistakes, but I don't know of them yet. I'll add these corrections in from time to time. And please, feel free to let me know if you come across a misrepresentation of the accepted truth that makes up what passes for world history. Creationists? Go for it.

Now, where was I? Right.

See, Copenhagen. I don't know what building this tower belongs to.

And I don't know who this is, but I liked the drama.

And his helmet.

This is Copenhagen from the canals, as are the next sequence of shots. If you guessed that we took a canal cruise, you would be correct. There are three different companies available on the Copenhagen Card.

We got on the first boat we saw. It was decent. A nice way to spend an hour, under a sunny sky, passing along, and with a tour guide that could be a rosetta stone if you were wanting to learn Danish, German, and/or English, and had some clue as to how at least one of them worked.

This is one of the many bridges we passed under. This specific bridge we had walked over earlier in the day (card hour 25.5), as it connects to Christianborg Palace. You'll see more of that once we're done on the water.

This is a houseboat. There are many of them.

Now, I am by far an expert on the canals of Copenhagen, and what I'm about to say is just my impression based upon an hour on the water with a third of the talking happening in a language I somewhat understand. So don't take it for gospel. Unless of course you're wanting to make it into a tune, then by all means, please do so. Gospel rocks!

So you know, I am stopping myself from writing the next bit as a gospel tune. Besides, 'the water is wide' has already been used, and in this case is not very accurate, and saying the water is narrow just doesn't sound as good.

The canal system seems to define it's own set of neighbourhoods. And on one side of the main water way, I guess you'd call it the harbour, the canals cut through what appears to be primarily a commercial area. On the other side, it seems to be dominated by residential. Again, could be wrong.

Anyway, one of these canal neighbourhoods that we passed through was Christianhavn, founded by Christian IV in the 17th century. I'm sure the neighbourhood is more than just life on the canals, but it does seem to have an abundance of houseboats, like the one above.

It also just has alot of boats.

That's the best frickin' cloud I have seen yet. Seriously. How do they do that?

Okay, I could go look this up. A friend commented the other day, much to my delight I might add, that they thought I was pan-curious. I am hopeful that this relates to my interest in learning things, and not to my behaviour.

I think curiosity only killed the cat when someone slathered one side of it in peanut butter and tossed it out a window. I like learning new things, and it's one of the reasons we're on these travels, and also enjoying writing the blog. How many questions come to your mind each day about trivial little things that don't really matter to the "action" of the day? How many whys, I wonders, Hows, and the like do we brush aside?

Well, I am making an effort to increase the number of those that I answer. We've got the internet afterall. What's it for if to not get answers to all of these little questions that crop up. It takes less than a minute most of the time to find the basics. Why don't we all do this more? Well, I'm trying to. It does require being a bit more deliberate in acknowledging when I've asked a question. I mean, think of how many questions we ask without likely noticing we've queried? I'm guessing it's pretty high. I'm also guessing that, on some level anyway, that modifies our behaviour. Unanswered questions just become part of the normal communications of every day. How good is that? What does that do to our natural curiosity?

See? Questions. Too many to track down perhaps, but hey, making an effort to go after answers for some of them is a good step. Right?

The cloud in the above picture is a cumulus cloud, the bases of which are often flat. They are distinguised by vertical growth and clearly defined edges. Below 6,000 feet they remain cumulus, and then grow and rise quite high - often above 50,000 feet - to be cumulonimbus. Storm clouds. The one I got is the happy, sunny, lower down variety. They form when warm air rises and  hits cool air and the moisture start to condense. The size is dependent upon the temperature of the atmosphere, and the rate at which the air cools while it rises and the dewpoint falls. Read all about it here.

I was hoping for some sort of fractal growth pattern diagram thingy but maybe I have unrealistic expectations.

See, learning is fun. And clouds get to keep on being pretty.

This is Freetown Christiania. It is an "autonomous neighbourhood" of Copenhagen that was formed in 1971 by squatters and is essentially part of Copenhagen, but not entirely. I can't explain it. Think commune that has actually been recognized by the state but is a source of pride and angst by the rest of Copenhagen depending on who you are speaking to.

This is the current royal palace, Amalienborg. We didn't go, but apparently it is quite lovely.

This is the Little Mermaid.

Sha-la-la-la-la-la my, oh my.

No one could actually tell me why this small statue sitting on a rock in the harbour is so darn popular, but it is. We didn't see it from land, so you are all stuck with this koi view of her until you bother to look it up. A couple of years ago it went off to be displayed at an exhibition in China for six months. It has also been beheaded. Twice.

She seems to be doing better.

While you won't see any pictures of it from me, we also went to the Hans Christian Andersen museum. Honestly, not worth it, unless you've got little kids and want to hear the stories. Actually, it's good for one thing. If you've forgotten how great fairy tales are then this is a good reminder. Kobo to the rescue.

This is Maersk. Without the cool special letter thingy.

We talked about Maersk already.

This is the new opera house. To give you a sense of scale, the roof is the size of three football (soccer) fields. You could probably run the entire Euro Cup on top of it if you wanted. Fans hovering in giant helicopters, swarming around like drunken bees. Come on. How cool would that be?

There are a series of five man-made islands that were established for the navy a very long time ago, and in recent history have been given over for development for the city. This building is an apartment building in what used to be an old torpedo storehouse.

Our friend Heather in Nova Scotia told us about this really cool school where the kids live and work aboard a sailing ship and sail the world, taking their lessons and working as the crew. Sounds really cool.

This is that ship.

Neat how that worked out.

Right, on land again. Or actually, on land previously.

This is Christianborg palace.

It's now where, amongst other things, the parliament hangs out. But there are also some royal rooms, still used for special events, the stables, a small theatre, a chapel, and stuff.

There's been a castle of some sort on this site since the mid 1100's. Christian VI got it really going in 1733 but then it burned down in 1794. They rebuilt again and finished in 1828, but this one also burned down, in 1884. The current one was completed in 1928. It's never been an official royal residence. I guess third time is not the charm.

That said, it's still gorgeous.

See what I mean?

This is the library.

Apparently I am not supposed to covet.

Tough. Hell it is. I want this library.

Throne Room.

Likely an excellent place to listen to tunes if they set the speakers just right.

This is one of many modern tapestries within the palace. Stunning. And kinda odd to think of modern tapestries, but here they are.  You can see Ganhdi, JFK, and loads of other portraits running along the bottom and top.

Actually there is a great deal more to this series of tapestries. I just don't know what it is as the writeups they had available were all in Danish. That said, here is a little bit on them if you are interested.

I'll read it too.

This is a piano. I was not allowed to play it.

I didn't.

This is the theatre at the palace.

On it's stage below you can see a piano. You are not allowed to play it.

I did anyway. It was fun.

For the first time ever I think having Jake lie to me is okay. At least this one time anyway.

When talking about things we wanted to see in Copenhagen Jake indicated he wanted to go to the theatre museum which is a part of this theatre. I was pleasantly surprised by this and said, sure, sounds good.

We got there, we started looked around, and then Noah and Jake sat down in one of the boxes. When I asked them if they were going to look around the answer was no. Jake had figured that I wanted to go to this theatre museum and also figured that I wouldn't ask them if they were interested, because they would likely answer no, and then we wouldn't go, as I try not to drag them to every little thing that I may find of interest, especially as they get pulled to alot already.

So, he lied. He said he was interested so that we would go, and then they sat back and relaxed, having achieved the goal of getting me to a museum I wanted to see but would not have asked to.

Pretty cool.

And did I like it?

I got to play the piano. Of course I liked it.

These are the Royal Stables. They used to hold near 200 horses. There are now about 20 or so.

And they're pretty cool.

See? Horse.

So Tuesday was a good day of walking, sitting, and floating around Copenhagen.

Wednesday, the last 24 hours of our Copenhagen Card, was going to be the zoo, the aquarium, and Tivoli Garden. But I'm hungry, and you're done with me, so I'll tell you all about that tomorrow.

Something's Rotten In the State of Denmark

Or perhaps I just need a shower.

Having got up about 8am and immediately sat down sort out the pictures and write a post about some of our time in Helsingor, which is now posted in case you missed it, I now find that it is 1pm, and while I've heard sounds of life from downstairs I have not actually seen it, but I am getting hungry, possibly a bit smelly, and despite all that I am going to just keep on writing.

On a roll I suppose.

This is Kronborg Castle. Often thought of as Elsinore Castle.

This was home to Danish and Swedish Royalty for hundreds of years. As I mentioned already it controlled the straight between Sweden and Denmark, brining in loads of cash for the reigning monarchs, but most importantly, it's where, according to Shakespeare anyway, Prince Hamlet has the ghost of his father King Hamlet tell him to avenge his death, which sends Hamlet on a killing spree as he waxes poetically about how difficult it is to be him.

Now, if that is not the worst summation of what is arguable Willies best play, and therefore second only to Aspects of Love in the entire lexicon of English theatre (I am so kidding about that), then I don't know what is.

Well, perhaps my Grade 13 essay sucked nearly as much. Nah. It was better.

But I'm not here to retell Hamlet. Or rewrite it for that matter, no matter how much I may want to. I actually already rewrote the good ol' To Be or Not to Be soliloquy as part of a bid presentation awhile ago for work where I addressed the benefits of such technology standards as WSRP in a regional EHR system. We won that one. Alas, I did not perform the work. Still got it though if you're interested James.

If that didn't make sense to many of you, that's okay. It doesn't make much sense to me either, and really isn't worth explaining.

So what am I here to do then. Well, this time I'm going to show you pictures of Kronborg Castle.

Like this lovely one of one of the towers.

Here is a model of the castle that greets you upon entry.

As you may be able to notice it was a fort first, and then a castle. The fort is the star pattern that is quite popular amongst fort builders. Outer moat. Outer wall. Inner moat. Inner wall. And then a pretty little castle in the middle.

Oh, and the cool thing is that these moats still have water. First one for me so far.

That's the bridge across the outer moat to the main entry.

This is the courtyard of the castle.

The castle, as it was originally a fort, consisted of three separate buildings, that basically align with three corners of the current castle. As time went by renovations occurred. You know how renovations go: start with the bathroom, and suddenly it's the kitchen, and then you think the floors should be redone, but if you're doing the floors, then how about taking that wall out and opening up the first floor to get more light in, and oh, damn, the roof, and what did Better Living Magazine say about curb appeal, and, ah crap, the chimney needs something done, so do we fix it, or get rid of it, and how about a fireplace for the basement, and can we get rid of that tree as it's crapping all over the drive and we're still not getting enough light in the front room, and, what about a nursery, do we have the space, perhaps we should rip the new roof off and add another floor. Ah screw it, let's get a new house.

Now imagine that with a castle and loads of money to spend on it. Multiple by a few hundred years of monarchs wanting more, and you end up with three buildings being joined together to form a big letter "u" and then a final multi-storey gallery being built across the remaining open space for the sole purpose of allowing the queen to go from her apartments to either the ballroom or the chapel without having to step outside. Yes, one entire side of this palace is a hallway.

Even with all that building craziness they still decided to point the cannons out over the Sound. Lord knows I might have pointed them the other way around.

These cannons are originals, and are still in use today for ceremonial occasions. Apparently Denmark no longer takes potshots at Sweden. At least, not with cannonballs.

This I believe is Trumpeteer's Tower. Or something like that. This served as the entrance and stairwell up to the ball room. The largest ballroom in northern Europe, where they liked to throw big parties. For three days. And with lots of speeches, which started by having the cannons fired. I'm sure this caught everyone's attention.

Good times.

This is the stairwell inside the tower.

That groove you seen running along the base of the central pillar of the stairwell is essentially a urinal. Yes, it's a long way down when your bladder is full, so instead of drunkenly dealing with all those steps, you could just step out into the stairwell, rest your weary head against the column, and relax. Gravity, some decent stone carving, and piles of hay at the bottom took care of the rest. And no, this does not work for the ladies. Apparently they had holes in their seats with hay piled beneath them.

Isn't history grand.

This is one of the Queen's chambers.

Imagine the angst Hamlet felt in here.

This is one of the many tapestries that Hamlet may have looked behind before blindly killing poor old Polonius.

There are lots of tapestries in Kronborg. I want Miss Keele to keep reading though, so that's the only one for now.

This is the ballroom. The grand one I was mentioning. You know, the one with the tower, and the pee?

Let's pretend it's where everyone dies at the end.

There goes Gerty. No Claudius, you daft bastard, she's drunk poison.

There goes Claudius as Hamlet runs him through, and then forces to drink poison. Bloody well took him long enough to avenge his Dad don't you think.

There goes Laertes. You may have missed the swapping of the poison bathed sword in this abridged version, but trust me it happens, so down he goes.

And finally, there goes Hamlet. The guys got quite the constitution when you think about it. Laertes cuts him a few times with the poisoned blade and yet Hamlet still sees the rest of them to their ends and gets a decent final word in with Horatio.

There, doesn't the floor look more interesting now?

And this is the chapel, where I should likely return to and beg forgiveness for what I've just done to such a great play.

This is one of the better lit areas of the casements, those wonderful hallways and rooms that run under the castle. They are where the soldiers would have been barracked. It's also home to Holger the Dane.

You can go read about him here if you'd like.

Short version is that, in times of need, Holger is supposed to rise up and defend Denmark. Kinda like King Arthur and Britain I suppose. Well, given Denmark's history you really gotta wonder what qualifies as a "time of need".

It's certainly not Noah and Jake boxing.

Nor is it them suffering through their father (that's me) asking to take their picture along side the inner moat.

Oh, I know, maybe it's a myth.

So ya, that was some of our time at Kronborg on Monday.

The rest is silence.

For today anyway.